For full disclosure, I’ve never been obese. But growing up dancing for much of my life, I was constantly told that my body wasn’t quite right. I’ll never forget my ballet teacher in seventh grade telling me in front of the entire class that I had “thunder thighs” because I had been “working improperly” my whole life. My entire life?! Bitch… I’m 12.
I don’t remember if that was the same day she told my friend Julie she “pitied the man” who would have to partner her (Julie also had thunder thighs, apparently) or if that was a different abusive day in ballet class, but regardless, it was pretty terrible. It’s comical to think about now because (a) what grown-ass woman tells a pre-teen girl they have thunder thighs? And (b)… well… there really is no b. You can kindly go fuck yourself, Laurie Sylvestri.
And I’ll always remember my first audition for an NBA dance team. After several rounds of dance eliminations, the last portion of the day was a panel interview. One dancer in her crop top, the dance team director who was “recovering” from anorexia and bulimia, and a room full of men. Delightful. I honestly don’t remember much about the interview except for when I was asked how I would feel if I was told to lose weight. (Hint: The correct answer is that of course you would totally understand if they wanted you to lose weight! That sounds amazing! Yay!) I did in fact make the team that day, had to step on a scale to have my weight logged, and was told they would “be in touch” to let me know what my “performance weight” would need to be. Did I mention how delightful this all was?
Needless to say, my body image issues are legit. I guess that’s pretty understandable when you are repeatedly told that you need to lose a few pounds even though you’re completely normal by society (not dancer) standards.
But I’ve finally gotten to a place where I don’t have a contentious relationship with my scale, all without starving myself or swearing off carbs. I thought it might be helpful to share the 5 changes I’ve made in case that helps someone else who has always been shy of reaching that elusive goal weight.
1. I Stopped Eating and Drinking My Feelings
When Covid became a thing and completely wreaked havoc on my wedding planning business, I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. And by feeling sorry for myself, I mean drinking too much wine and eating whatever I wanted to eat.
My husband and I have always been into wine, but in the midst of the pandemic, it got a bit out of control… so much so that at one point the hubs declared that we needed to get “swigging wine,” because we were going through our supply of nice wine too quickly. And it wasn’t just wine. Mexican food and pizza delivered to our doorstep had become weekly occurrences as opposed to occasional indulgences. At one point I even wondered when the last time was that I ate a vegetable that wasn’t a potato. All that to say, I was not doing my body any favors with a terrible diet.
At the end of October 2020, I gave myself a pep talk and decided that I could not end a shitty year feeling shitty about myself. Just because Covid sucked, didn’t mean I had to take it out on my own health. Instead, I made a conscious decision to turn it around on November 1st. (I’m always wanting a fresh start on the first of the month. And if that just happens to fall on a Sunday or Monday… even better!)
Whenever I’ve wanted to drop a few LBs, cutting out alcohol has been hugely helpful, and this time is no exception. While I haven’t stopped drinking completely, I definitely have curbed the habit a ton, making a glass of wine more of an exception than a nightly rule. And honestly, the older I get, the crappier I feel when I do drink anyway, so it’s for the best.
You are what you eat. You can’t out exercise a bad diet. Bodies are made in the kitchen. I’ve heard all of these sayings before, and I 100% believe them to be true. I’m definitely making better food choices overall, including adding in more fresh fruit and vegetables into my diet. I’m also consistently tracking my caloric intake every. damn. day. which brings us to #2.
2. I Started Using the Noom Weight-Loss App
I’m sure you’ve seen an advertisement for the Noom weight loss app by this point. The commercials are a little vague about what it actually is and how it works, simply saying it’s a “psychology-based approach” to help you change your habits. From my perspective, Noom is a phone app with daily lessons, occasional quizzes to test your knowledge, and easy-to-use food tracking. Through Noom, I’ve learned about the science behind weight loss and the psychology behind eating choices.
I used to have “all or nothing” thinking when it came to diet and exercise – I was either eating chicken breast and broccoli and working out like crazy (and so sad about it) or I was stuffing my face with chips and queso and margaritas and not exercising at all (loving those things, but also being disappointed with myself). Now I have a much more moderate level of both healthy eating and exercise. I eat healthy more often than not, but I also indulge every now and again and I don’t feel one bit guilty about it. This new approach of moderation is much more sustainable, and it’s all thanks to Noom.
I’ll definitely do a more detailed post about Noom in the future, but I will tell anyone who will listen that it is life changing. If you find yourself struggling with being consistent with your diet or you have a complicated relationship with your waistline or scale, I highly recommend it.
3. I Became Obsessed with My Peloton Bike
If you know anyone who has a Peloton Bike or Tread, you probably think they’re in a cult because they love it so much. Yep. I’m that girl.
I’ve never really been a huge fan of the idea of having workout equipment at home. Maybe I’m still scarred from childhood when we had a NordicTrack (the original cross-country ski machine) that was really a dust-collecting clothes hanger. I always had a gym membership but used it with various amounts of frequency. I also enjoyed the occasional cycling class, but making it to the studio at a specific start time was sometimes a challenge. The Peloton seemed like the perfect solution if I could just commit to actually using it and not having it stare at me across the room, unused, making me feel like a failure at life.
I bought my Peloton in early 2020 and have been more consistent than ever at using it. No need to get in your car to go workout. Nope. It’s conveniently always there. I can take a class at any time, day or night. I have my favorite instructor (oh heyyyyy Alex!), a handful of people I pre-schedule meet-ups with on the bike, and really love everything about it. My Peloton bike is the best gift I’ve ever given myself. Hands down.
I’ll definitely be writing a separate blog post all about the Peloton just in case anyone has been pondering getting one and may be on the fence.
4. I Started Cooking at Home More
I don’t love cooking. I never have. Isn’t it so much easier to eat food that’s already prepared for you than actually cook it yourself? (Don’t ask me how many food delivery apps I have on my phone!) But with my come-to-Jesus moment at the end of October, I knew that I needed to take back control of what I was eating. Takeout might be convenient (and oh so tasty), but there’s really no way to tell how much fat or salt is being used. And are they using olive oil or Crisco?
I definitely needed a game plan if I was going to cook more at home. I heard about the Defined Dish cookbook by local blogger Alex Snodgrass from a few friends and decided to give it a try. You guys… buy this. Immediately.
The recipes are very straight forward and easy for someone like me who isn’t great in the kitchen. Nothing is overly complicated or incredibly time consuming. There are even recipes for things that seem “off-limits” for someone watching their weight, like chicken parmesan and steak street tacos, but they are adapted to be healthy. Each recipe indicates if it’s gluten-free, grain-free, or dairy-free, and some of the recipes are even Whole30 approved.
There are several recipes that I make on repeat, but I also like to try new things too. I can honestly say I’ve never gotten so much use out of one cookbook. I purchased this same cookbook for both my mom and my sister for Christmas because I love it so much!
Now, I’m not saying that we don’t ever eat out or order food delivery. Not at all. But I have definitely made an effort to cook healthy food at home more often, and it’s definitely made a difference.
5. I am Consistently Consistent
Over the years, I’ve done some really strict diets, but as soon as I went back to eating “normally” I’d gain the weight back. (Hello yo-yo dieting!) And often, they just weren’t sustainable and so I’d only be able to keep up all the things for a few weeks. But with my new plan (Noom, cooking at home, Peloton workouts), I’ve had no problem being consistent.
For the last five months I’ve weighed myself every morning (this is part of the Noom program), exercised consistently, journaled my food daily (even when I’ve drank all the wine and consumed all the pizza), and have made better choices in general.
It’s true what they say that consistency is key, and it’s probably been the thing that has helped me the most.
This dress had been in my closet, unworn, for a few years because it didn’t fit. But it clearly does now! And honestly, I need to go into my closet and donate a ton of clothes that are now too big. I’ve been buying jeans in the smallest size I ever have in my life, even when I was at my “performance weight.” I honestly didn’t imagine that I would ever be saying those words, but it’s true.
More than just the number on the scale and the way my clothes fit, I truly have had a change in my overall perspective. And it’s been life changing.
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